No Facebook for My Boy

If you know me at all you know that I am not a fan of social networking websites. I'm all for staying in touch with good friends, finding old friends, and generally messing with any current friends in a public arena, but after about a week of Myspace I had fulfilled both those needs and the thing just became dangerous. Not dangerous like this (fyi, the following video is not creepy, but is absolutely hillarious)...


But more dangerous in a tequila sort of way. Mysterious and intriguing at first, pure hedonistic fun for a brief time, and then ultimately puking followed by the runs. Allow me a quick juxtaposition (I hope that means what I think it does):

Shot #1: Logging on and creating a profile you are a little apprehensive at first, then once you realize that it's very easy to do and all your other friends have already done it without any hugely negative results you figure why not just give it a chance. It wasn't that great and you may have a dirty taste in your mouth, but screw it, you just want to have some fun with your friends.

Shot #2: You realize that your cyber self allows you to express who you really are. You feel the shackles of a dorm room or an entry-level corporate job slowly start to crumble away and really set you free. You're responsible all the time, why not have just a little "me time" and have fun with some old friends tonight? Besides, this is just the real you coming out, you're not acting like anyone else but you, the social panther that you really are.

Shots #3-4: You don't even know what happened here, it was so much fun you don't know why it took you so long to embrace it. This timeframe was a blur, but apparently you posting all sorts of "hillarious" photos of yourself and friends, and leaving inside jokes on other people's pages. Also, at some point you really start craving mexican food.

 Shot #5: You begin thinking, "What did people do before Myspace/Facebook?" and you start asking your friends to Myspace/Facebook you instead of actually talking to them in person or on the phone. You can't imagine why you don't drink tequila all the time. You are invincible!!!

Shots 6-??? At some point you start spinning and realize that maybe you weren't as cautious as you thought you were. It's too late now, the damage has been done and it's only a matter of time before everyone sees you blow chunks in specacular fashion...

Click on image to enlarge for comic details.

You were flying so high, but perhaps too close to the sun.

And that, my friends, is why my little guy won't be getting a Facebook page.