Daddy Fear Factor: The Birth Month

So the boy will be entering the "real world" mid-February. For most this would seem like an innocent detail, but it scares me more than a car full of freshly inflated balloons (shut up, you have issues too).  There are a variety of factors for my apprehension surrounding a February birth, and since I need structure in order to avoid 3 page run-on sentences I will list them henceforth...

1. Wallet Death Blow- My wife's birthday, Valentine's Day, and now my firstborn son's birthday will all come together to create the perfect post-holiday destruction of my personal economics. "What's that buddy? You want a bicycle for your birthday? Well let me tell you what daddy wants, he wants Christmas to be moved to June so he can take a breather from the crushing financial legsweep you and mommy are delivering so early this year!"
2. Enunciation Issues- I've have always dreaded having to say February out loud, ever since my stupid 1st grade teacher told me I could pronounce it with or without the first "R". Sure, I could take the easy way out and ignore that beautifully rugged consanant, but what am I, some sort of fascist alphabetist? I am not. Also, I have large gums and thick lips, thus compounding my inability to pronounce this devil month's name.
3. Leap Year- I still don't understand the phenomenom that most 3rd graders could probably explain to you in three sentences or less. It's not because I have tried and failed, I just think whoever created this abomination of a calendar format should be shunned for such an oddball wildcard day (or lack thereof!). So now I have to try and figure out how to tell my son why is birth month is sooo much cooler than all the other months that every couple of years we have to steal a day from it, to even out the cool factor in fairness to the other months. I don't believe in month socialism and I won't push it on my son!
4. Birthstone- "Hey, little buddy, let's talk about your birthstone. You know, the random sediment associated with the 4 week period in which you decided to be born. It sounds cool, right? A rock that is just for you and the month of your birth. It turns out Ferbruary is for lovers and total froo-froo wussies who love purple stones that would make Elton John blush. Please don't ever ask me to buy you an amethyst piece of jewelry, it might make me cry testosterone tears. Even if you do ask, I will likely just make you sit on the couch and watch Road house on repeat until you denounce your birthstone."