Name Bar Raised

I was watching football last weekend and I came across what I consider to be the best name in the NFL (and possibly the history of man)...Rock Cartwright. Could any name possibly ooze more masculinity, intimidation, or pure americana? I couldn't think of any name combo that sounded remotely plausible, yet still insanely as over the top solid as damn Rock Cartwright. It's like God himself named the man while setting his personal best bench press record. Please take a moment to imagine a cartoon of God throwing up his personal best on the bench press (he's probably wearing an American Flag bandanay), sitting up and wiping the sweat from his brow with his God gym towel, chuckling to himself and leaning over towards his dry erase board to write out "Rock Cartwright"...then proceeding to whale on his lats. This has to be how this lucky running back obtained his glorious name.

And yes, you should now be scared for the boy, considering the ante has been considerably upped in the name game. All sorts of greatness has come flooding into my brain since the Rock encounter. I'm sure I can do some refining with the help of a thesaurus, but names like Superior, Major, and Rod have now all entered the equation. They will never be rock, but at least the sentiment to overcompensate for all deficiencies in my life will be blatantly obvious for all to see.