My mom was so anti-child violence when I was a wee lad that she wouldn't even let me have any sort of realistic looking squirt gun. For my 6th birthday my friend from school, a girl no less, bought me this awesome looking Uzi squirt gun. It was black and motorized, and if you were a boy in 1986, then this was your dream aquatic weapon of choice. I was really surprised and excited when I got it, and then equal parts shocked and heartbroken when my mom told me I had to take my Uzi squirt gun back to school to give back my friend. "Thanks for the sweetest pro-NRA gift ever, but my mom says I can't play with guns."
I wasn't even allowed to watch GI Joe because of the violence, but for some reason Beverly Hills Cop and 48 Hours were deemed acceptable viewing. I don't question my parent's seemingly conflicting choices in regards to entertainment, because in hindsight I was exposed to great comedies laced with semi-realistic violence, and I didn't turn into a bellicose little pudge, watching military based cartoons all day and fighting for the sake of fighting. But dammit I wanted to keep that freaking uzi!
Lucky for my boy, I have learned from my parents unique parenting techniques. I also have learned of the great parenting tool known as "deal making". Therefore, just like that annoying little gremlin Toby Maguire (aka, the poor man's Jake Gyllenhall) learned in every Spiderman movie, I will teach the boy that with great power comes great responsibility. I will aim to create a system of trust and respect based on reward and consequence for the boy. The clip below pretty much sums up my plan...
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