Delicate Balance

Last weekend I was doing all sorts of manly stuff like climbing on my roof and in my attic to reroute a bathroom vent and clear out a dryer vent line. All I was lacking was a tool belt and a tall boy of Coors Light and someone might just have mistaken me for a real adult male. Luckily nobody important witnessed my high flying acts of domestic testosterone, and I was able to preserve my status as an overgrown manchild. Once all the work was done the wife even pitched in to help me clean up the inevitable mess that accompanies any "work" I do around the house. I know, she is only 6 weeks away from her due date, but the slightest amount of sweeping behind a dryer didn't seem like to arduous of a task. Who knew that it would lead to one of my all time favorite pregnant moments?

As I cussed at the dryer for being so heavy and awkward (I have found profanity to be the most effective method for accomplishing any home improvement task) it slowly wiggled it's way out of our laundry closet. I pulled out just enough so the wife could reach behind it with a broom and dustpan to sweep up a small amount of lint and dust. As I walked outside to return my tools to the garage I heard a large thump from the hallway followed by silence, then some laughing/yelling for help. I immediately ran back in the house fearing the worst...somehow the dryer had fallen and crushed the cable remote control!

Luckily, when I made it back to the laundry closet I found the wife leaning forward, left leg planted firmly in the ground, right leg sticking nearly straight up in the air and looking like she was reaching into the far corner of the closet to pick up something. Basically she looked like she had froze mid cartwheel when she realized there was a wall blocking her path. I asked her what was going on and through intermittent laughter and grunts she was able to chuckle out, "I'm stuck!". Funny, right? She was in no physical danger, but the laws of physics had imprisoned her in the most awkward of yoga-ish poses. Only adding to the comedy was me trying to figure out how to pull her back upright from this head over heels position. I tried yanking on her leg, her hips, and eventually we were able to use a little leverage and quickly yank her up by her non weight bearing arm. It was essentially like the opening scene in Cliffhanger, only I vastly outperformed Sly Stallone and I don't have a hairlip.