Having trouble blogging as the big day approaches. Only 20 days (maybe less) of sanity and calm left in my life, and I think my body is sensing the storm on the horizon and is urging me to spend more time either doing home improvement projects or just zoning out on the couch. Last night I chose the former and spent a few solid hours cussing out my bathroom sink as I attempted to install a new faucet and handle some minor plumbing issues. Sure, I could cuss less when I work on the house, but it makes me feel better when I do curse at inanimate objects that piss me off. You try fitting your 6'2" gangly frame inside a miniature vanity and getting years of residual hair water dumped on you, repeatedly bashing your elbow on cabinets, and being unable to fit wrenches in the appropriate places to tighen nuts and bolts without freaking out a few times. If you are able to do all this while maintaining verbal innoncence, then congratulations, you are the world's most annoyingly optimistic douchenozzle. Me on the other hand, I listened to all sorts of inappropriate rap music (thank you Droid and Pandora) and got my macho on.
What do I have to show for all this misplaced rage and elbow pain? A spiffy looking new faucet, and just one more thing for the wife to check off her nesting list and something that will hopefully slightly brighten her days over the next few weeks. Ultimately, all these "manly" things I do around the house to hopefully improve our our living environment are really just me lobbing up optimistic attempts to constantly distract her from the fact that I'm the real reason she has to pee 9 times per night and will soon have to shove a soccer ball out of her body. Maybe I will hang that towel rack tonight...
No comments:
Post a Comment