Slow Child = My Fault

I had the pleasure of eating at PF Chang's last night with the wife and my little brother in law. The food was decent, the atmosphere was poorly lit and very loud, and the bar scene there has to be one of the most consistently hilarious places to people watch ever. Just like the completely contrived atmosphere at every one of these ultra modern chain restaraunts, the people at the Chang bar never fail exude pure "trying too hard" vibes. But while enjoying some very average "infused" menu items and mocking the clientele I had a mior life epiphany.

While our very nice server mixed our dipping sauces at our table and explained how just a dash of oil would help to tone things down if she had dumped too much chili paste in our mix I suddenly realized that I was enthralled the entire time she was spooning flavors together. I wasn't drooling and oohing and ahhing, but I was staring with focus, as I guess I have done everytime I have visited the eatery. When the waitress left I chuckled out loud and explained my realization to the wife and bro. I compared it to my fascination with magic tricks. I don't believe in magic, and generally think all magicians are socially inept dorks who like to wear makeup and throw glitter, but I am still impressed with professional slight of hand and misdirection. I then took a sip of my egg drop soup and almost choked when I burned my mouth and throat on a hot noodle.

Then it hit me. All the indicators were there. I fixate on the simplest in-person demonstration, I always watch those Guinsu knife demo's at the fair, I love a good magic trick, I have a huge head, and I just burned my goddam mouth on hot soup. Holy shit...am I midly retarded?

Maybe I am overreacting, I get throught the day without assistance, am socially compentent, and have a college degree, but then again, our last president also fit all that criteria. Outlook foggy, at best.

God forbid our poor little boy is stricken with any sort of mental shortcoming, but if he is it doesn't look like the wife will have to accept any of the blame.