Good Sport

I often get annoyed and rant about parents taking kids sports too seriously and ruining it for the kids. And I don't see anything in my behavioral patterns that would make me think I will end up being one of those parents, though I am very childish and will definitely sarcastically mock those type of parents at youth sports events. But for some reason, when it comes to little kids being fans of pro sports teams I can't seem to control my knee jerk reaction to want to mock them. I don't actually ever accost children, but I can't help but think of great ways to steer them from rooting for a-hole teams for the rest of their life.

Case in point, the other day I was at Panera getting a tasty panini. I know that makes me sound cultured or even snobby, but really it's just fancy Subway with classical elevator music playing too loud. As I went out on the patio to find proper seating to effectively demolish my panini and mac and cheese, I noticed a little kid, probably no older than 6 years in age, in a full soccer uniform and Crocs. He wasn't on his way to play in a game, instead he was wearing a replica jersey of a Chelsea FC uniform while wearing the world's gardening shoe gone mainstream. My first instinct, I swear to God, as an ardent Manchseter United fan was to trip the kid and then laugh at him. I didn't of course, but just the fact that it crossed my mind made me laugh out loud. I suddenly realized how pathetic I was for even dreaming up the comical scenario in my head, but was quickly absolved of all sins when I remembered that the kids parents bought him matching Crocs to go with his soccer kit. He needed to be tripped, not only because of his reprehensible choice in sports teams, but also to prevent him from a life full of inappropriate footwear choices. Next thing you know this kid will probably be wearing a Denver Broncos jersey with flip flops, or even worse....a Red Sox jersey with Birkenstocks! So disgusting to draw that mental image.

I did not save that poor kid at Panera that day. My only hope is that he at least has the personality to back up such awful life choices, just like the kid in this video...