It only took 5 days of the boy's young life for him to officially mark his territory. I was sitting on the recliner today, rocking him to sleep while the wife was away at her doctor's appointment. Everything was moving along just swimmingly, I was enjoying a classic episode of Family Guy and little man, who had just recently discovered the marvel of modern oral technology known as a pacifier, was completely passed out on my lap. It was the quintessential moment of newborn/father bonding. I felt warm and fuzzy all over, with a slight amount of warmth poolling specifically around my belly button. It took me a minute to realize that my metphorical emotional heater blanket was actually just the little butthead whizzing so much that he overflowed his diaper, penetrated 5-6 layers of clothing and blankets, and completely dominated my midriff. I knew it was an inevitable occurence, but at the same time, I was still completely and totally blindsided.
This kid must have pure ice coarsing through his veins to be able to completely empty his bladder on a grown man and not even have the common decency to open up his eyes while doing so. I did detect a slight shudder on his part, must have been right at the end. I guess I should have suspected such behavior from a child who is flipping the bird in the majority of his birth pics...
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